The
crucial first step towards developing more fulfilling
relationships is the initial phone call to my office
to make an appointment
for counseling/therapy. I appreciate your acknowledgment
that you need help and are reaching out to say,
"I'm tired of feeling this way, I want my relationship(s)
to get better".
I
offer help to those who are dealing with Marriage,
Blended Families, Couples, Relationship and Family
issues and those considering marriage . . .
- Maintaining healthy
relationships
- Developing more effective
communication styles
- Pre-marriage counseling
- Dealing with marital
conflicts
- Understanding and
improving intimacy issues
- Working through trust
issues
- Dealing with infidelity
- Verbal or physical spouse abuse
- Recognizing unhealthy
relationships
- Considering divorce
or separation
- Overcoming gender
barriers
- Gay-lesbian-homosexual-bisexual
relationship issues
- Blended families
and children coping with parental conflict
Marriage Counseling
and Family Counseling . . .
Marriage counseling is
really different from individual counseling. In individual
counseling, the person is usually seen by themselves
and the focus is on the issues concerning themselves
. . . their thinking, their feelings, and their own
issues. In marital counseling, the focus is on the system
or "the dance" that they do. I see the "marriage" as
"the client," rather than two individuals. The sum is
greater than each of the parts.
Couples
come to therapy usually with some kind of communication
block. Hurt, frustration, distrust and continuous arguments
can cause a couple to seek counseling. I help them identify
the type of dance that they do. They do the dance unconsciously.
One may over-function, while the other under-functions.
Or is it that the under-functioning one causes the other
to over-function. Systems theory answers with, "yes."
They both influence each other rather than "cause" the
problem. The dance itself is the problem. They might
be headed for separation and divorce, and see the other
as "the problem." Little do they realize that they are
taking their part of the dance with them. Without help,
they are very likely to get into the same kind of dance,
just with a different dancing partner.
Once
they identify their part in the dance, I help them to
make conscious changes in the pattern. If one gets more
angry than the other, then they might try to switch
their roles a little. One may feel 2/3 of the anger
while the other only feels 1/3. They could work together
to channel their anger into making constructive changes
rather than take it out on each other. Then I help them
to stabilize the new pattern. This is why marital therapy
usually takes a 3-4 month commitment to see real change.
Of course, people don't commit until they have established
a rapport with the therapist and have decided for themselves
that this is the course of treatment for them.
Child Counseling
and Therapy . . .
Children
should be a prime consideration when experiencing
a marriage, separation or divorce. Children don't
often have the "tools" to work through
these changes and often need child
counseling services. I work with both children
and parents who are experiencing remarriage, divorce
and blended families.
Contact
Questions?
Please contact
me for further
information.
Counselor - Therapist - Traverse City, Michigan
